Don’t know what to do when you saw someone crying? Well, you aren’t alone in this. That’s why we spoke to a psychiatrist to know the right way to comfort someone in pain.
The first thing that we want to tell you is that crying isn’t bad at all. It is a brilliant way to unburden yourself and helps you vent things out. But what will you do if your friend or the person you love is crying inconsolably? We know most of you must be looking for this answer, because unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
Another thing that makes it so difficult for the support system to comfort someone else is the tussle that’s happening in their heads. Whether you should let them cry, or not, and what you must say or not – there are multiple questions that may run in your head, while all this is happening.
One of the most natural instincts, when you see someone close crying, is to hold them and hug tight, so they know they aren’t alone in this. Yeah, we’re speaking about that jaddu ki jhappi. Trust us, it does wonders, especially in that particular moment, but what if that trauma keeps haunting your bud every now and then?
Well, for that we have an expert to help you out.
Here are 6 tips that can come in handy if you want to console someone who is crying
1) Start by comforting them and say something like ‘I know you’re having a difficult time’ or ‘I’m sorry you’re in so much pain’
2) “Try to share your experiences, which help a person understand that it’s normal to cry but don’t go too deep into any particular topic,” recommends renowned psychiatrist, Dr Rahul Khemani.
3) Ask open-ended questions such as ‘tell me what happened ‘ or ‘what triggered you’
4) Don’t ever minimize their feelings or cut them off, rather let them express their feelings freely.
5) If it’s appropriate, give them a hug or pat them slowly on their shoulder or back. Physical touch often helps comfort a person.
6) “And lastly even if you can’t do anything, your presence itself makes all the difference. So, don’t try too much, go with the flow and let the situation unfold itself,” recommends Dr Khemani.
Always remember if someone is crying then you have to have patience to calm them
According to Dr Khemani, “When someone is going through emotional upheaval and is crying, it becomes hard for those. It’s difficult to see someone cry and especially not know what to do at that moment. Most of us feel awkward and uncomfortable and move away, but wouldn’t it be easy, if we had a manual to go through on what to do?.”
People can cry at any point of time in their life, sometimes with a reason and quite often even without any as well.
Here are some things you should refrain from doing:
- Don’t yell at them.
- Don’t put them in a situation, where you tell them that “You have warned them but they didn’t listen”.
- Don’t compare their plight with others.
- Don’t mock at them.
- Don’t give them gyaan. Just be with them.
- If not required, don’t say things. Just hold them close to you and be a good listener.
So friends, next time you see someone crying, reach out to them because they only need your support when they are rolling in the deep.